Post by LONGGONEDEADFORUMS on Apr 24, 2004 9:45:18 GMT -5
Angelic Symptoms
On a mailing list recently, it was asked:
I was wondering what are some of the symptoms of being an angelkin.
Commonly, symptoms include:
phosphorescence, blindness, hyper-focus, bowel obstruction, constipation, fever
Phosphorescence - The tendency when around others so afflicted to, in short, glow.
Blindness - Those afflicted have the overwhelming tendency, with frequently unfortunate results from some perspectives, to not see or acknowledge anything but what they are focused on. This leads to such incidents as 'The Angel Who Blew Up Planet XVII334-XQVTUB Because It Was In His Way', and 'The Angel Who Plowed Me Over On The Way To The Subway Station Because I Did Not Register As Anything But An Irrelevant Obstacle'.
Hyper-focus - Closely related to item 2. (Cause/Effect)
Bowel-obstruction/Constipation - Colloquially known as 'Flaming Sword Up Ass' syndrome, look for the following clues: Refusal to sit down (we suspect that this may put the angel in danger of appearing to relax, and thus dislodge the Flaming Sword), shunning of consonant use, lack of discernable sense of humour, rigid spine, general bitchiness, etc.
Fever - It is uncertain if this has an actual physical cause, such as manifesting, in fact, as a burning piece of shrubbery, or whether it is a secondary, psychosomatic symptom of the so-called 'Flaming Sword'. It has also been theorised (as we have not actually been able to convince any angel that us sticking a thermometer in any of its orifices has any relevance to their existence) that it is not a physical condition (i.e. raised body temperature) at all, but rather something more symbolic relating to the uses of phrases such as 'appeared feverish', 'had a fire in his eyes', 'was burning with righteous anger', etc.
On a mailing list recently, it was asked:
I was wondering what are some of the symptoms of being an angelkin.
Commonly, symptoms include:
phosphorescence, blindness, hyper-focus, bowel obstruction, constipation, fever
Phosphorescence - The tendency when around others so afflicted to, in short, glow.
Blindness - Those afflicted have the overwhelming tendency, with frequently unfortunate results from some perspectives, to not see or acknowledge anything but what they are focused on. This leads to such incidents as 'The Angel Who Blew Up Planet XVII334-XQVTUB Because It Was In His Way', and 'The Angel Who Plowed Me Over On The Way To The Subway Station Because I Did Not Register As Anything But An Irrelevant Obstacle'.
Hyper-focus - Closely related to item 2. (Cause/Effect)
Bowel-obstruction/Constipation - Colloquially known as 'Flaming Sword Up Ass' syndrome, look for the following clues: Refusal to sit down (we suspect that this may put the angel in danger of appearing to relax, and thus dislodge the Flaming Sword), shunning of consonant use, lack of discernable sense of humour, rigid spine, general bitchiness, etc.
Fever - It is uncertain if this has an actual physical cause, such as manifesting, in fact, as a burning piece of shrubbery, or whether it is a secondary, psychosomatic symptom of the so-called 'Flaming Sword'. It has also been theorised (as we have not actually been able to convince any angel that us sticking a thermometer in any of its orifices has any relevance to their existence) that it is not a physical condition (i.e. raised body temperature) at all, but rather something more symbolic relating to the uses of phrases such as 'appeared feverish', 'had a fire in his eyes', 'was burning with righteous anger', etc.
<.< I find this very offensive, they are talking like we angels are a disease
